NFL Week Five Picks

Last Week’s Picks
Justin:
Saints -6.5 over JAGUARS
Bills -3 over BENGALS
Falcons -4 over SEAHAWKS
Patriots -4 over RAIDERS
Giants PK over CARDINALS

Chad:
Saints -6.5 over JAGUARS
Vikings -1 over CHIEFS
Giants PK over CARDINALS
Patriots -4 over RAIDERS
BUCCANEERS -10 over Colts

This Weeks Picks
Justin:
Raiders +5.5 over TEXANS
PANTHERS +6.5 over Saints
STEELERS -3.5 over Titans
Chargers -4 over BRONCOS
LIONS -5.5 over Bears (I couldn’t help myself)

Chad’s Picks:
Bills +2.5 over Eagles
Raiders +5.5 over Texans
Bengals +2.5 over Jaguars
Titans +3.5 over Steelers
Patriots -9 over Jets

Last Week’s Results
Justin: 3-2
Chad: 3-2

Season
Justin: 11-9
Chad: 8-10-2

NFL Week 3 Picks

Quick note before we get to this weeks picks, I am posting the picks during the first quarter of the Noon games. We emailed each other the picks before the games started, but there is nothing more disheartening than seeing a couple of the picks you made already look like they are going to go bust – thanks New England and Houston!
Justin’s Picks:
SAINTS -4 over Texans
Lions -3.5 over VIKINGS
PANTHERS -3.5 over Jaguars
Packers -3.5 over BEARS
BILLS +8 over Patriots

Chad’s Picks:
SAINTS -4 over Texans
EAGLES -6.5 over Giants
RAIDERS +3.5 over Jets
Steelers -10.5 over COLTS
Redskins +4.5 over COWBOYS

Last Week – Not Pretty Folks
Justin: 1-4
Chad: 0-3-2

Season
Justin: 4-6
Chad: 2-6-2

NFL Week 2 Picks

No time for chitchat, have to get these picks up before the games start.

Last Week
Justin: 3-2
Chad: 2-3

Justin’s Picks:
Dallas -3 over SAN FRANCISCO
Baltimore -5.5 over TENNESSEE
Philadelphia -2.5 over ATLANTA
San Diego +7 over NEW ENGLAND
NEW ORLEANS -6.5 over Chicago

Chad’s Picks:
Chicago +6.5 over NEW ORLEANS
BUFFALO -3 over Oakland
Baltimore -5.5 over TENNESSEE
Green Bay -9.5 over CAROLINA
Dallas -4 over SAN FRANCISCO

NFL Week 1 Picks

Hello gang. I apologize for the lack of posts this summer, this site always turns into a bit of a ghost town during the summer, which I take full responsibility for.  With the NFL and NBA lockouts hovering over the sport world like an alien mothership, things got kind of bleak for us sports fans, but when the NFL came back it gave us as exciting a preseason as we’ve ever had. I’m still trying to catch up with all of the movement that took place over the shortened Free Agency singing period.  I hear the Eagles singed a bunch of good players, so maybe they will be good this year?(?)

Thursday’s game was as exciting a game as we are going to see all year. Of course I picked New Orleans plus the points to win that game, even though the defending Super Bowl Champs almost always win the opener.  It’s nice to know that I still have a gift for picking games poorly! I don’t want to complain about my pick, but would it have killed the Saints to dress their defensive front for the game?  Playing an entire game with no pass rush was just a really poor choice by them.  I kid. I kid.

I’d like to thank college football for doing it’s job in mildly entertaining me before the NFL regular season got underway.  The Norte Dame/Michigan game last night was a lot of fun, but the rational part of my brain just couldn’t separate the excitement of three scores in less than a minute with the amazement at just how bad two defenses could play in the same moment. College football may be good, stupid, fun many people, but it doesn’t come close to the professional brand of football we get to watch today.

It being the tenth anniversary of September 11th, I want to give a big shout out to those working in the Armed Services as well as all the men and women who serve as firefighters and police officers. You guys keep us safe so we can enjoy silly things like sports, thank you so much.

One more note before we get to our picks. You may notice that we are no longer explaining each of our choices, that may change in the coming weeks, but we we didn’t really think a explanation was completely necessary. There are plenty of places on the internet that can give you much better gambling advice than we can. We just like betting against each other.  Speaking of which, we haven’t decided what the stakes are for this years bet, so if you can think of anything interesting please leave a comment.  Oh and don’t tell Chad I still owe him a Derrick Rose jersey, I refuse to buy anything NBA related during the lockout.

Here are our week one picks (home teams in caps). Enjoy the games everyone!

Justin’s Picks:
Steelers +2.5 over RAVENS
BROWNS -6.5 over Bengals
TEXANS -9 over Colts
Patriots -7 over DOLPHINS
Vikings +8.5 over CHARGERS

Chad’s Picks:
Steelers +2.5 over RAVENS
BROWNS -6.5 over Bengals
Titans +1.5 over JAGUARS
JETS -4 over Cowboys
Patriots -7 over DOLPHINS

Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy – For Now

You know that saying about how things tend to come full circle?  I think that last nights game does a pretty good job of fulfilling that cliche.  In what was one the NBA’s finest years, it’s only right that we end where it all began – hating on LeBron James.

If you are sick about all of the media attention surrounding James then you may want to go on vacation in a very remote area of the world, because we are all about to be treated to plenty of “LeBron’s Legacy” discussion for at least a week or two – or until the NBA Labor Talks heat up, which should be relatively soon. If you are relishing in James’ failure then you are in for a good time for the foreseeable future. I can only imagine how jubilant Skip Bayless was last night, and what he had to say on First Take this morning.

I’ve always thought that it was strange for people outside of Cleveland to have such vehement hatred towards LeBron. Yes the “Decision” was a dumb idea, and he could have definitely treated this offseason with a lot more class, but to hear some people talk about him you would think that they killed a group of puppies or something truly egregious.

The fact that James is a more hated athlete in this country than Mike Vick really says something about how the public perceives athletes. As far as we know LeBron has never committed a serious crime, but he has drawn the ire of the public by refusing to apologize for stringing us all along last summer. Vick apologized for his transgressions, and even though he committed serious crimes, and did things that most Americans find repulsive, repentance is a very powerful weapon in the world of public relations.

I don’t think James feels like he needs to say sorry to anyone for the choices he made last summer. Even if he knows that he went about doing things in the wrong manner, and has said as much, but I don’t think there is an apology coming any time soon.

It would take someone much smarter than I to explain all the factors that go in to America’s intense dislike of James, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I enjoyed having LeBron play the role of villain this year, whether he wanted the title or not. I may not share in America’s hatred for anything Heat related, but it was nice to have a team to root against, and when the Heat played the Mavs in the Finals, it was easy to root for a guy like Dirk who has played with the same team his whole career.

In a way I feel bad for Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Kidd. This should have been their moment to celebrate the crowning achievement of their Hall of Fame careers, but the story has been more about how the Megateam failed than how two of the greatest players in the history of the NBA finally got their rings. But this is just the world we live in, it’s a lot easier to focus on the failure’s of someone who is hated by the general public than too appreciate the success of players that are on teams we do not have a vested interested in.

I doubt that Dirk is going to mind the lack of intense media coverage that he probably deserves right now. I could be totally wrong here but, Nowitzki doesn’t strike me as someone who wants to be the center of attention all of the time. That’s what I’ve appreciated about his game over the years, he has improved vastly since entering the league, but he has done so in a way so subtle that it only becomes apparent when it comes under the intense scrutiny that playing in the NBA Finals can provide.

LeBron has always craved the attention, and now he has it, just not the kind he is looking for. There’s nothing subtle about his game, and I think it’s fair to say at this point that he has not taken the steps necessary to evolve into the kind of player that can carry a team to a title.

It would be wise for James to look at how Dirk went about getting a title, and start working on his game instead of worrying about what the world thinks about him. Because if he takes the time to develop a post game, or even the high post game that we see Nowitzki, Bryant, and Pierce use to such devastating effect he will be unstoppable. Then the world can call him whatever they want, but they’ll also have to call him a champion.

Chicago – Where QB’s Are Dis-Owned By Their Families

If you don’t read Hot Clicks on si.com, you really should.  On a daily basis, they provide readers with a myriad of links that contain gorgeous women, comical stories, and interesting ideas on many different levels.

A headline that appeared on Monday’s version of Hot Clicks got me fired up, though.  It was named “Lame Lions” and read, “Over the years, has the single-worst position in the NFL been quarterback for the Detroit Lions? After seeing this post, it’s hard to argue otherwise.”

I smell a challenge!

Oh yes, the Lions may be 0-9 this season.  Yes, they do have the worst record in the NFL since 2001 – mainly due to the disastrous reign of one, Matt Millen.  That doesn’t mean, however, that the quarterback position for the Detroit Lions is the runaway winner for most futile position in the league.  I believe a case needs to be made for another position: quarterback of the Chicago Bears.

To be fair…let’s just look at quarterbacks since McMahon was shuffling behind Sweetness to a Super Bowl ring, shall we?  Wouldn’t want this to get too ugly.  Plus, bringing up the dark days of Gary Huff, Bob Avellini, Bobby Douglass, Vince Evans and other guys from the 70’s would invoke too much pain to my brethren in the Bear community.  Plus, most of people reading wouldn’t know who the hell I was talking about.

* Denotes First Round Pick

You best be thanking Sweetness every day for that jewelry!
You best be thanking Sweetness every day for that jewelry!

The Hall of Halas

1. Jim McMahon* (1982-1988): The only reason he tops the list is because he got a Super Bowl ring.  We wont talk about the fact that he may wear that ring on his ear now.

2. Erik Kramer (1993-1998):  He led the Bears to precisely ZERO playoff appearance during his tenure, but makes the list because he is the franchise leader in touchdown to interception ratio.  No, that’s not a joke. His +18 TD/INT is the best ever….EVER!!

Solid, But I’m Not Gonna Wet My Pants

1. Kyle Orton (2005-present): Too soon? Nahhh. He’s in that elite fraternity of guys that has more TDs than INTs since Jimmy Mac.  His supporters would quickly defend his status here by telling the world that the Bears are 15-8 in games that he has started in his short career.  The neck beard puts him over the top for me.

Is there a QB in this world that can grow a better beard?  I think not.

2. Jim Miller (1999-2002): He gave us a division title in 2001, and posted nearly 6,000 passing yards over his four years in Chicago.  If only he didn’t get injured against the Eagles in ’01, we might have had a chance.  Ehhhhh, maybe not…

3. Jim Harbaugh* (1987-1993): This is a stretch.  Ahhhh, what the hell.  He did lead the Windy City to a couple of playoff appearances in ’90 and ’91, and even got himself a division title out of the deal.  The highlight of his career: Coaching Stanford past USC in 2007.

Mediocre Molly’s

1. Brian Griese (2006-2007): The Bears spent a lot of money on him to pressure Rex Grossman into being better.  Didn’t Rex prove that he cracks like a gangster being offered parole during the 2006 season?  Maybe I missed something here.

2. Chris Chandler (2002-2003): His Wikipedia page lists one of his career highlights as the “only quarterback to ever achieve single-game passer ratings of 0 and 158.3.”  He was the Bears insurance card when Jim Miller went down.  Guess they didn’t buy All State!

3. Shane Matthews (1999-2001): He didn’t help the Bears, but he didn’t kill them either.  So he gets the nod into this group.  Chris Berman did nickname him ‘The Shane Matthews Band.’  I guess that’s cool (notcool)

Chopping Off a Foot Would Have No Effect

Please start Caleb Hanie if Orton cant go! PLEASE!!!

1. Rex Grossman* (2003-present): Seriously, if you hacked off Rex’s left foot, would it affect how he plays?  He throws all of his passes off his back foot, and the cut in height couldn’t possibly make his percentage of deflected passes go any higher. If I had to gauge his speed on a scale of 1-10, he would get a -12. Folks, don’t tell me he led the Bears to a Super Bowl.  They got there despite him!

Backups Who Sucked Being Backups in Dallas

1. Steve Walsh (1994): He was drafted by Cowboys with the first pick in the 1989 Supplemental draft, costing the Cowboys their first round pick in 1990 – after finishing 1-15.  He fits right into the Bears team concept.

2. Chad Hutchinson (2004): Amazingly, his baseball career sucked more than is NFL career.  He pitched four innings for the 2001 St. Louis Cardinals, and racked up an ERA of 24.75.  He gave up as many earned runs (11) as he threw touchdowns.

More Backup Bombshells

1. Steve Stenstrom (1996-1998): Did his mom even know he played football?  I doubt it.

2. Mike Tomczak (1985-1990): Not only did Bears fans have to put up with his crappy throwing on the field, but you were stuck with him when Harbaugh inevitably got injured in Tecmo Super Bowl.  Trust me, he sucked there too!

The Doctors You Wouldn’t Want Performing Surgery On You

1. Craig Krenzel (2004): Maybe he’s not a doctor, but he’s smarter than most of the ones you go to.  The dude majored in molecular genetics at Ohio State.  Too bad he sucked at being a quarterback.  Can’t think your way out of a sack, can ya?  CAN YA?

2. Jonathon Quinn (2004):  I’m mixing him up with Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman.  My mistake.  Sorry.

The Franchise Hope…Killers

One of many first-round busts.

1. Cade McNown* (1999-2000): Here’s the epitome of his work ethic: He pled no contest in 1996 for illegal possession of handicapped parking pass.  Not only was he too lazy to walk the extra 50 feet to the Bruins practice facililty, he was too lazy to fight it to.

2. Kordell Stewart (2003): ‘Slash’ was supposed to buoy the QB position in Chicago to the hope of the future, Rex Grossman.  Instead, he put Bears fans into the fetal position for nearly five years.  Thanks, Kordell.

3. Rick Mirer* (1997): You may be questioning my * there, but look at the history books folks. I know the Bears didn’t draft him, but they traded a freaking first round pick for this waste of space after two awful years in Seattle.  He promptly threw no TDs and six picks, and was released at the end of the year.

The Guys With Two First Names

1. Dave Kreig (1996): He wasn’t that awful (6-6 record playing for the injured Erik Kramer), but since I didn’t know what group to put him in, I decided to make a one specifically for him.  Then I realized, he wasn’t alone…

2. Jeff Blake (2005): He was 8-9 for 55 yards and a TD in his only appearance in a Bears uniform.  I demand to know why we didn’t see more of him!  I WANT THE TRUTH!

The Guy With THREE First Names

1. Peter Tom Willis (1990-1993): He must have been a mistake because his parents clearly hated him.

They Didn’t Do God’s Work

Mark me down for 3 TDs and 8 INTs. This dude has no chance.

1. Moses Moreno (1998): This Moses couldn’t even part opposing defenses, let alone the Red Sea.

2. Cory Sauter (2002): His completion percentage with Chicago was .666 (repeating).  Cory Sauter is the devil!!!

The >36% Completion Club

1. Will Furrer (1992): He was 9-25 for 89 yards and three picks.  Sounds like someone I know…

2. Henry Burris (2002): He started in Calgary. then went to Saskatchewan, followed that up with Green Bay, flew south to Chicago, was banished to Berlin, got pissed and went back to Saskatchewan, and settled back down in Calgary.  Did he miss the memo that the South is warmer???

If you want to argue a position more futile than Chicago Bears QBs, you best bring your A-Game!  These guys sure as hell didn’t.

Create Your Own Sports Network Fantasy Draft

With the amount of sports that J and I watch, we aren’t always blessed with the cream-of-the-crop announcers – especially if your team is struggling at the time.  There is nothing worse than B-list announcers in a game you perceive as being important.  You want to keep the volume up to absorb the atmosphere.  The sounds of the game, the reactions of the fans, and the pristine breakdown of the action by a top-notch announcing crew.  Unfortunately, with the vast amount of networks covering all of the sporting events these days, we get guys like Bryant Gumbel calling games.  Frankly people, we’re sick of it.  We’re even sick of the unworthy guys sitting in the studio that have no business analyzing games (Eric Young, Stephen A. Smith, and Skip Bayless – we’re talking about you!).  So we decided to have a draft with every sports TV announcer and analyst available.  The goal: Nothing but A-list talent, baby!  Our teams consist of 24 ‘players’ a piece with a snake draft.  The rosters consist of a three person announcing crew for the NBA, NFL, and MLB, along with a two man announcing crew for the PGA TOUR.  Also, a three person in-studio host crew will be employed for both basketball and football, with a two man in-studio team for baseball.  And to make our network just that much more interesting, we each need a sideline reporter, college prospect/announcer (it’s a keeper league – gotta have some talent in the wings), a fantasy expert along with a tandem of guys working in the studio as our “Sportsnight” anchors.  So call the commissioner and moose Mel Kiper Jr’s hair, because we got work to do people.

To decide who gets the first overall pick – we flipped a quarter, with Justin calling tails and the quarter dropping on tails.  He gets the first pick in our “Create Your Own Sports Network Draft.”

We welcome NBA commissioner David Stern to the podium – since there is nobody better at butchering names on a national stage.

And here comes Stern to the podium to announce the first pick.  What Chad doesn’t know is that I had David Stern slip Chad a coin that was Tails on both sides.  This isn’t be the first time David Stern has fixed a draft, and it won’t be the last.   Anywho… here’s Stern with the choice in hand.

Look at all that talent.

David Stern: With the first pick of the “Create Your Own Sports Newtork” draft, RSAR (Red Shirt Aaron Rogers) selects Erin Andrews out of the ESPN Network.

Justin’s Analysis: My reasoning for taking Erin with the first pick was simple, as with all fantasy leagues, you want you’re number on pick to be a five tool player.   Much in the way that Hanley Ramirez, LeBron James and LT all dominate in their respective leagues because of their versatility, Erin Andrews is second-to-none when it comes to being personable, intelligent, and extremely HOT!  You throw in the fact that Andrews is capable of covering multiple sports, and it was really a no-brainer decision to take her with the first pick,   Admit it Chad, you wish you had Ms. Andrews on your sidelines.

Chad’s Analysis: I can’t deny it – I dreamed about getting the No. 1 overall pick and taking EA – and sleeping soundly knowing she’d guarantee me a 10 rating for every game she covered.  I’ve already initiated plan-B though.  I might’ve lost out on a 5-tool player that is already in her prime that will last 10-15 more years – but I didn’t come without a plan!  Commish – announce my pick!

David Stern: With the second overall pick in the “Create Your Own Sports Network” draft RHHA (Rich Harden’s Healthy Arm) selects Charles Barkley’s gambling debt out of the TNT network.

Chad’s analysis: Damnit Stern!  Read what’s on the card!  Admit it Justin, it doesn’t matter if it’s a Grizzlies/Hawks game, you’ll tune in to TNT’s coverage of it just to hear Charles get off topic, call people knuckleheads, and find out who’s in his 5 that night.  His gambling inproprieties worry me a bit, but you can’t deny his upside.

Justin’s Analysis: I’ll admit that Charles Barkley is a strong number two pick with a ton of upside (insert fat joke here), but the Round Mound of Rebound has been having a tough year.  I mean the press won’t even let him gable anymore, and since this is a heated election year, who knows what will happen the first time he makes a politically incorrect joke about McCain’s: age, health, race, etc.
David Stern: With the first pick in the second round, and third overall pick in the draft – RHHA selects Ron Jaworski from the ESPN network.

Mel Kiper: I’m simply amazed that a talent like Jaworski slipped to the second round.  He’s been flying up my Big Board ever since he began on Monday Night Football last year and hasn’t stopped rising since.  He’s the Peyton Manning of the booth.  He can see the field in a way that few people on the planet can, and he can communicate what he sees to a lamen of football.

Justin’s Analysis: I have to agree with Ch… er… Kiper on this one.  I was really hoping that I could grab Jaws in the second round, but alas I ended up going with…

David Stern: With the fourth overall pick – RSAR selects Buster Olney from the ESPN network.

Justin’s Analysis:
Now Chad I know you were a little shocked with this pick, but no one has as much access as Buster Olney when it comes to getting baseball news, and with baseball being the most news-heavy sports, I had to get Olney before you did.

Chad’s Analysis:
Buster is a great talent, but is he truly a second round pick?  In terms of value, I believe you could’ve gotten him in at least the 6th round.  But who am I to argue….you have the next pick…what’s it going to be?

David Stern: With the fifth overall pick – RSAR selects Marv Albert from the TNT network.

Could we see this Marv if hes teamed up with Erin? YES!!!
Could we see this Marv if he’s teamed up with Erin? YES!!!

Justin’s Analysis: Marv Albert is (biting incidents asside) without a doubt my favorite announcer regardless of the sport.  No one captures the moment quite as well as Marv, and I was more than happy to have him anchor my NBA announcing team.

Chad’s Analysis:
YESS!!!!  Marv is my favorite NBA announcer too.  But his age was a concern of mine.  That biting could turn into biting AND clawing, and then we’d have ourselves a real mess.  Might want to keep him away from EA – I’m just sayin’…

David Stern: With the sixth pick, RHHA selects (EJ) Ernie Johnson from the TNT network.  HELL YEA, GO NBA!

Mel Kiper: The NBA is on the rise again, and it looks like RHHA is trying to get a step ahead of the rest of the teams.  If it’s a great game, everyone’s going to be watching anyway – the key is to keep them watching when the game isn’t going on.  Ernie is not only insightful and can lead an in-studio crew with the best of them, but he can interpret whatever Charles says on the fly without a hitch.

Justin’s Analysis: To be honest I was a little surprised Ernie went so high in this draft.  He is great at setting up the Charles, but you could put Bryant Gumbel in the news room with Charles and it would be entertaining.

Kiper’s Big Board:
Chris Berman
Hubie Brown
Mike Tirico
Bob Costas
Kenny Mayne

David Stern: With the seventh pick, RHHA selects Jim Nantz from the CBS network.

Chad’s Analysis: With Tiger Woods in his prime for another ten years I have to have the perfect guy to take us through the final round, and to say only what is necessary after TW sinks the putt on 18.

Justin’s Analysis: I can’t believe you went with a golf guy in the lottery of this draft!  As much as I love Tiger, I wouldn’t have selected Jim Nantz in the first 20 rounds.

David Stern (who is starting to look a bit sleepy):  With the eighth pick – RSAR selects Rich Eisen from the NFL Network.

Justin’s Analysis: I’m a huge fan of Rich Eisen, and I’m sticking him as one of my anchors to my Sportscenter clone.  The thing I like most about Eisen is that he doesn’t feel the need to try to be funny while giving us the highlights.  There’s nothing worse than having to watch Stuart Scott doing his, black guy imitating a white guy, imitating a black guy, bit.  Not too mention that guy’s crazy glass eye.

David Stern: With the ninth pick – RSAR select Chris Collinsworth from the NFL Network.

Justin’s Analysis: That’s right I’m going back to back with the NFL network guys, and I’d probably take Chris over anybody except Jaws when it comes to color commentators in the NFL.  Collinsworth does a great job of explaining the X’s and O’s of the NFL and is a joy to listen to, even if he has been held back a bit by his former teamates.   Now that he is spearheading my NFL booth, he will truly have a chance to shine.

Chad’s Analysis: I believe ya.  I haven’t heard his stuff in the last two years because I loathed his partner to a point that I swore off the entire network.  I didn’t send any of my scouts to see him either because I didn’t want them exposed to that kind of bad…

David Stern
(who is enraged that he has to stay through the first five rounds – unlike his one and done deal with the NBA draft): With the tenth pick in the draft, RHHA takes – Hubie Brown from the ESPN network.

Chad’s Analysis:
Despite being the third ranked sport right now, I’ve got my NBA coverage on lock.  Hubie Brown is one of the few analysts that still watches game tape, and could step out on the court and be a Top-10 coach right now.

Justin’s Analysis: I still have Marv Albert…. haha.

Next five picks:
11. RHHA – Kenny Mayne – ESPN
12. RSAR – Jeff Van Gundy – ESPN
13. RSAR – Chip Caray – TBS
14. RHHA – Dan Schulman – ESPN
15. RHHA – Orel Hershiser – ESPN

Justin’s Analysis: To anyone who thinks that I was drinking when I took Chip Caray with the 13th overall pick, just like the killer says in the movie Seven, you haven’t seen the whole picture yet.  And speaking of people who could go from being an analyst to a top ten coach in the NBA (in my best Good Ole JR voice)  Wait… it can’t be… that’s… that’s Van Gundy’s music!  My Gawd!

Chad’s Anaylsis: Kenny was a steal at 11 for me, and I knocked out two of my three baseball announcers with back-to-back picks after that.  And the best part is – if we include poker later on, Hershiser can pull some double duty after his finish in the Heads Up Poker Championships a few months ago!

Next five picks:
16. RSAR – James Brown – CBS
17. RSAR – Mike Tirico – ESPN
18. RHHA – Greg Gumbel – CBS
19. RHHA – Mike Breen – ESPN
20. RSAR – Daryl Johnston – FOX

Chad’s Analysis: This was a painful section for me here.  I needed to get my play-by-play guys, and got two of the best in Breen and Greg Gumbel (how the hell is it possible that brothers rank as one of the best and worst PBP announcers in the world?  It’s like if MJ had a brother that also played in the NBA).  Breen screaming “BANG” whenever someone hits a three is a dang close second to “YES” from Marv.  Plus, I don’t have to worry about him getting his hands on Erin.  But Brown is a tough guy to see go, Tirico has versatility, and Johnston would’ve been the perfect yang to Jaworski’s yin in my football booth.

Justin’s Analysis: Just twist the knife Chad, man you are cold blooded.  I think I hit my stride here with JB, Tirico and Johnston.  I grabbed the best football studio guys and two damn solid announcers in Tirico and Jonston, you team him up with Collinsworth and you’ve got yourself one hell of a team.

Is it the chin Chad? It is, isn’t it.

Next five picks:
21. RSAR – Bob Costas – NBC
22. RHHA – Bill Cowher – CBS
23. RHHA – Ric Bucher – ESPN
24. RSAR – Gus Johnson – CBS
25. RSAR – Tom Jackson – ESPN

Justin’s Analysis: Bill Cowher Chad, really?  I mean, was Neon Deion not available or something?  Having a guy like Gus Johnson is like drafting Evan Longoria in a keeper league, you think you are just getting potential numbers, but the guy ends up going all, “I’m an all-star this year fool,” on you.  I’m not even going to gloat over the value I got out of Bob Costas at #21, because I know Chad is a sensitive guy, and I don’t want to have to watch him cry.

Chad’s Analysis: Five years ago, Costas would’ve been in my Top-5 for being a studio host either on our Sportscenter mock-up or for the NFL – but he’s fallen into obscurity and has lost a step or two.  Hell, it took me five minutes to remember who he worked for! With Cowher, I get the intelligent, well-spoken coach to anchor my football team in-studio despite him possibly going to the coaching ranks.  I was suprised that you jumped for Gus this early, but you were aware of Marv’s age and got his replacement holding the clipboard and taking notes for a couple years – good move, my friend.

Next five picks:
26. RHHA – Scott Van Pelt- ESPN
27. RHHA – Merril Hoge – ESPN
28. RSAR – Michael Wilbon – ESPN
29. RSAR – Jon Miller – ESPN
30. RHHA – Rick Sutcliffe – ESPN

Chad’s Analysis: Scott Van Pelt and Kenny Mayne in my studio – you aren’t gonna beat that unless Erin becomes a guest everyday – but you can’t risk overworking her!  Plus, I get the underrated Hoge who was high on my list, and I expect a full cancer recovery for Sutcliffe to complete my untouchable baseball announcers.  Have fun with Jon Miller forgetting where he’s at half the time, and putting the stress on the wrong syllable of every Latin American player’s last name!  Haha, sucker!

Justin’s Analysis:
Oh Chad, we are only one person away from resolving the, “what the f*** is Justin doing with his baseball announcing team?” mystery.  Anyways, I ended up going with Wilbon at 28 because he brings a straight-forward approach to an NBA show, although he did lose some points with me when he talked about his disapproval for internet sports blogs and they can be childish.  I mean there’s nothing childish about what we are doing here, I mean just look at my number one pick.  Really, look at the picture, that is the total package, and a whole lot of talent!

Talk about a late round steal!

Next five picks:
31. RHHA – Kenny Smith- TNT
32. RSAR – Greg Anthony – ESPN
33. RSAR – Mike Fratello – ESPN
34. RHHA – Bonnie Bernstein – ESPN
35. RHHA – Harold Reynolds – ESPN

Justin’s Analysis: That’s right Chad, you may have taken Bonnie Bernstein at 34, but Erin Andrews will always be number one in your heart.  I decided to roll with Greg Anthony and Mike Fratello to bulk up on my NBA crew.  At this point in the draft I was really wishing that I could have had Charles, perhaps a trade may have to be in order.

Chad’s Analysis: Let’s be honest, Erin is No. 1 in the heart of every straight man in America (and maybe even an 1/8 of the ones that swing the other way), but have you seen Bonnie Bernstein lately?!?!  I saw her on Mike and Mike a few weeks ago and fell in love with her all over again.  Anthony and Fratello are solid – but with Kenny Smith, I’ve completed the TNT crew for my NBA in-studio hosts.  Amazing!  I don’t care if you have Marv, I’ll dominate NBA coverage!  Harold Reynolds is a huge sleeper, and I’m so glad he emerged on the set of TBS so I could pick him for this wonderous occasion.

Next five picks:
36. RSAR – Boomer Esiason- CBS
37. RSAR – Mike Greenberg- ESPN
38. RHHA – Peter Gammons – ESPN
39. RHHA – Gary McCord – CBS
40. RSAR – Nick Faldo- CBS

Chad’s Analysis: Greenberg is funny, but he needs a jock to play off of to get the comedy.  Eisen and Greenburg in your studio is going to produce a Vegas over/under of .5 laughs per show.  I enjoy laughing at some of things anchors cook up (all though I can’t stand Stu Scott, just like you).  Gammons is a baseball legend – and he looks like it too.  McCord will keep the mood light in the golf booth, just in case Tiger breaks a leg and happens to be out of contention.  Oh wait, he stays in contention despite that!

Justin’s Analysis
: I’ll have to admit that Greeny and Eisen probably aren’t the most interesting studion duo out there, but I have plans for that, don’t worry.  And as far as Nick Faldo goes, I had to ask Chad who he was, because I couldn’t remember his name.  Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, you should really keep Reynolds away from Bonnie, I hear he doesn’t always play nice with the ladies.   I like Gammons but he’s had a stroke and he’s a Red Sox guy, which pretty much makes him untouchable in my book.

Final eight picks:
41. RSAR – Karl Ravech – ESPN
42. RHHA – John Madden – NBC
43. RHHA – Howie Schwab – ESPN
44. RSAR – Ken “Hawk” Harrelson – CSN/WGN
45. RSAR – Eric Karabell – ESPN
46. RHHA – Kirk Herbstreit – ESPN
47. RHHA – Chris Berman – CBS
48. RSAR – Jamal Mashburn – ESPN

Justin’s Analysis: And finally I can unveil the conerstone of my network: Happy Hour Fun Time with Hawk, Chip and Miller!   Since I never listen to baseball commentary anyways I thought I’d have some fun with my booth and put a couple of known drinkers together with a guy who pronounces names like he’s drunk.  Just imagine the endorsement opportunities.  The only downside I see here is Hawk jumping out of the booth in a drunken rage to hunt down a ump who missed a call.  But that’s when I unleash my secret weapon… we cut to Erin Andrews doing an interview with a group of sorority girls at the game.  Finally my plan lives… it’s ALIVE!

Chad’s Analysis: Wow!  Three play-by-play guys in one booth, one of which is permanently wasted, another has alcoholism in his family and the last talks like he’s drunk.  Erin is going to barely keep your baseball crew afloat – and I can’t even imagine the lines they’ll use to hit on her!  Some may question my Madden selection, but love him or hate him, you always watch him.  Schwaby and Karabell will anchor our fantasy coverage, which probably pisses Matt Berry off since he’s the one that has the Emmy.  Berman was not at all happy about falling this late, and his reaction shows…

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