The Brett Favre Saga

Not only did we get a Major League Baseball All-Star game that was a boderline debacle, but now without two days of baseball - and zero major professional sports to occupy by free time, the sports networks are all jamming one of two stories down our throats: Roger Clemens is as guilty as O.J., and Brett Favre is begging to return.  I don’t see either of these stories ending peacefully - but since I’m wayyyy passed the Clemens story, let’s look at the Favre situation.

I believe somewhere in The Bible As Written By Ditka - also known as the Chicago Police Department handbook that I, as a Bears fan, must loathe Brett Favre.  I held that perspective for the first 20 years of my life, until one day, I figured out why I always caught myself sneaking a peak at Packer games at every opportunity.  It’s not because I hated Brett Favre and was rooting for the Packers to lose - it’s because deep down, I was jealous of what Packer fans had (as I wrote in a column here during college).

Now - I’m beginning to question the motives of the person I was jealous of.  Less than a year after I rooted for Favre when the Bears were out of contention, I can’t figure out why he’s using his standing as ‘The Man That Is Bigger Than The Franchise’ to hold his employer hostage.  I just don’t get it.  To understand the full story, you have to understand all of perspectives.  I count five of those - let’s take a look.

Favre’s Side:
He claims he retired too early.  As a Bears fan, I wished he was the host of the post prom party where Mark Chmura got a little too touchy feely with the 17-year-old babysitter of his children.  Hell, I considered driving up to Green Bay on numerous occasions, find Brett at the local pub, buy him eight shots and then challenge him to a fight hoping he’d take a swing with his right hand, and break it while shattering my skull (albeit I was 14 at the time, couldn’t legally drive, and would’ve need one helluva ID to get passed the bouncer - or just tell him that Brett was my dad).

The timeline of the events taking place in the last few months is downright laughable.  He tearfully retired in March, called and wanted back in before the draft, was going to be welcomed back, only to turn around and say to his bosses that he was going to stay retired.

Now it’s July and Favre has the “itch” once again, and if his needs can’t be satisfied in Green Bay, he wants to find a backscratcher somewhere else.  16 years of knowing only one team, one town, one life, and he would actually consider strapping on shoulderpads in another stadium eight times a year.  Oh, but he doesn’t want to file for reinstatement just yet - what the hell??

Best case scenario: Doc Brown takes him back to the first of March and he cancels his plane tickets to Green Bay.  And the tape of the interview with Greta Van Sustere that he takes along with him changes into a one-on-one interview with his doctor prescribing him ointment for this nagging “itch” that he has.

The Packers Organization:
They were disappointed when Favre retired - but you never heard them say, “Holy crap, what do we do without him.”  They mourned and cried right along with Favre, but were in the war room at 5:30AM the next morning figuring out what to do A.B. (after Brett).  They laid out the plan, and went about scouting the quarterbacks in the upcoming draft, when a few weeks before the two-day event in April - Favre called asking to come back.  They dropped the notebooks full of information their college scouts had compiled over the previous couple of weeks, booked the private jet flight (I think that only involves calling the pilot - but I’m not up on my private jet protocol…yet) and were ready to welcome the man from Mississippi back into the family business.  But once again, Favre changed his mind like John Kerry over a hot ticket voting item, and told the Packers he wasn’t commited.

Plan B: The Packers moved on in life without Favre, and proceeded to use their second round pick to draft Brian Brohm out of the University of Louisville to make sure they had a couple different options in a year where they had a Super Bowl contender.  Then a few weeks ago, Favre wants back in the fray.  The Packers used a No. 1 pick a few years ago on Aaron Rodgers (yikes - I’m 767 words deep, and that’s the first time I brought up his name), and now a second round pick on Brohm, they don’t want those two investments to rust any longer.  Favre has treated the franchise like punching bag and now wants to put the proverbial gun to their head: start me, or release me.

Favre must’ve forgotten that he’s a GOD to the people in Wisconsin.  There is no way Ted Thompson and the Packers organization could let Favre play in another uniform.  Let’s be honest, any color other than yellow and green would clash with his grey hair.  They won’t trade him either - so don’t even think about it.  They’re left with one option if he fills out the paperwork: find a roster spot for him.  Can you really expect Aaron Rodgers to succeed if Brett Favre is standing on the sidelines with headsets on, one snap away?

Best Case Scenario: The reinstatement papers get lost in the mail, or if he decides to crash training camp, they stick the entire offensive line in one room with him - after two-a-days.

Packer Fans:
I saw pictures of Wisconsin the day after Favre “called it a career.”  Adults wept, school was meaningless for the children, and the cows refused to give milk.  But ya know what they did on Friday night?  They had a beer, talked about the good ol’ days, had another 18 beers, and stumbled home drunk.  Then they sat home and replayed the retirement speech in their underwear, hungover - weeping and hitting rewind over and over again.

Despite what some polls say, they’d welcome back Favre quicker than he can pull the trigger on a slant route.  They staged a rally in his defense, and have vowed to continue until he is reinstated by the team.  Oh this is going to end well.  Not only will Favre hold the team hostage, but the people of Wisconsin will march until he returns - driving the price up of a gallon of milk.  Only one word to describe that: SELFISH.

Best Case Scenario: Favre sticks to his guns - and hunts game in Mississippi!

Aaron Rodgers:

The only thing he could’ve done to help his own cause would’ve been to jump in front of Charles Barkley’s golf swing during the celebrity tournament this past weekend.  God knows he would have enough time - have you seen Sir Charles’ golf swing lately?  The hitch in his giddyup makes a hacker like me cringe at the sight of it.  I don’t regret taking him No. 2 overall though - because according to Rick Reilly, Charles deals out shots of Patrone like they’re Apple Pie shots.

Oh - Aaron Rodgers…my bad.  His focus should be on two things: keeping his mouth shut, and hitting receivers in stride.  And don’t worry Aaron, if Brett ends up on the sidelines with the headset on - you wont be yanked unless your completion percentage drops below, say, 93.

Best Case Scenario: Doubles as the mail carrier to Brett’s house in Kiln, and burns the incoming and outgoing mail everyday - all while delivering forty mocked-up letters from Warren Sapp and Michael Strahan saying how cool it would be to be elected into the Hall of Fame together.

Bears Fans:
As long as the guy QB’ing the Packers remembers to throw to us half as many times as Grossman throws it to them, we’ll be satisfied.  Nuff said.

Best Case Scenario: The Madden Curse comes true again this year.

Results of the Draft…

Our “Create Your Own Sports Network” fantasy draft is a post that will be difficult for Justin and I to top.  We had a great time thinking of the topic, doing the draft, and then writing about the results - but an encore as unique as something like that is really impossible to do.

First - in case you hadn’t heard - the draft ended up being linked on SI.com - via their incredibly popular and entertaining section called “Hot Clicks.”  As a result of the link on this page (the link that appears in the last sentence in the paragraph below the picture of Erin Andrews) we received a mind-boggling amount of viewers today.  Let’s take a look at the stats:

Total number of views in the first 6 months of the site: 5,652
Number of views TODAY ALONE: 14,220!
(today = from 6pm on 7/14 to 6pm on 7/15)

Instead of wondering when we would break the 10,000 views mark - we don’t even have to worry about 20,000 anymore!

A big thanks goes out to Kristan Knight - avid reader and lifelong friend of Justin and myself.  She is the one that sent the link to SI.com - and it amazingly made the cut!  We’ve already gone over 1,000 again for today (6pm on 7/15 to 6pm on 7/16) as well!  THANKS A BUNCH, KRISTAN!

Subsequently, our draft ended up being linked on USATODAY.com - which picked up the link off of SI.com.  You can take a look at what the USATODAY guys said right here.

All-in-all, it was a day full of elation and downright giddiness for both J and me - and we can’t thank our loyal readers enough for their support over the last six months.  Hopefully, we can deliver subsequent posts of the same magnitude and reach, and really take this site to new heights.

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As per a request from one of our “commentors” from the draft post - here is a list of what our current rosters look like:

It’s pretty obvious that RHHA won, isn’t it?

Create Your Own Sports Network Fantasy Draft

With the amount of sports that J and I watch, we aren’t always blessed with the cream-of-the-crop announcers - especially if your team is struggling at the time.  There is nothing worse than B-list announcers in a game you perceive as being important.  You want to keep the volume up to absorb the atmosphere.  The sounds of the game, the reactions of the fans, and the pristine breakdown of the action by a top-notch announcing crew.  Unfortunately, with the vast amount of networks covering all of the sporting events these days, we get guys like Bryant Gumbel calling games.  Frankly people, we’re sick of it.  We’re even sick of the unworthy guys sitting in the studio that have no business analyzing games (Eric Young, Stephen A. Smith, and Skip Bayless - we’re talking about you!).  So we decided to have a draft with every sports TV announcer and analyst available.  The goal: Nothing but A-list talent, baby!  Our teams consist of 24 ‘players’ a piece with a snake draft.  The rosters consist of a three person announcing crew for the NBA, NFL, and MLB, along with a two man announcing crew for the PGA TOUR.  Also, a three person in-studio host crew will be employed for both basketball and football, with a two man in-studio team for baseball.  And to make our network just that much more interesting, we each need a sideline reporter, college prospect/announcer (it’s a keeper league - gotta have some talent in the wings), a fantasy expert along with a tandem of guys working in the studio as our “Sportsnight” anchors.  So call the commissioner and moose Mel Kiper Jr’s hair, because we got work to do people.

To decide who gets the first overall pick - we flipped a quarter, with Justin calling tails and the quarter dropping on tails.  He gets the first pick in our “Create Your Own Sports Network Draft.”

We welcome NBA commissioner David Stern to the podium - since there is nobody better at butchering names on a national stage.

And here comes Stern to the podium to announce the first pick.  What Chad doesn’t know is that I had David Stern slip Chad a coin that was Tails on both sides.  This isn’t be the first time David Stern has fixed a draft, and it won’t be the last.   Anywho… here’s Stern with the choice in hand.

Look at all that talent.

David Stern: With the first pick of the “Create Your Own Sports Newtork” draft, RSAR (Red Shirt Aaron Rogers) selects Erin Andrews out of the ESPN Network.

Justin’s Analysis: My reasoning for taking Erin with the first pick was simple, as with all fantasy leagues, you want you’re number on pick to be a five tool player.   Much in the way that Hanley Ramirez, LeBron James and LT all dominate in their respective leagues because of their versatility, Erin Andrews is second-to-none when it comes to being personable, intelligent, and extremely HOT!  You throw in the fact that Andrews is capable of covering multiple sports, and it was really a no-brainer decision to take her with the first pick,   Admit it Chad, you wish you had Ms. Andrews on your sidelines.

Chad’s Analysis: I can’t deny it - I dreamed about getting the No. 1 overall pick and taking EA - and sleeping soundly knowing she’d guarantee me a 10 rating for every game she covered.  I’ve already initiated plan-B though.  I might’ve lost out on a 5-tool player that is already in her prime that will last 10-15 more years - but I didn’t come without a plan!  Commish - announce my pick!

David Stern: With the second overall pick in the “Create Your Own Sports Network” draft RHHA (Rich Harden’s Healthy Arm) selects Charles Barkley’s gambling debt out of the TNT network.

Chad’s analysis: Damnit Stern!  Read what’s on the card!  Admit it Justin, it doesn’t matter if it’s a Grizzlies/Hawks game, you’ll tune in to TNT’s coverage of it just to hear Charles get off topic, call people knuckleheads, and find out who’s in his 5 that night.  His gambling inproprieties worry me a bit, but you can’t deny his upside.

Justin’s Analysis: I’ll admit that Charles Barkley is a strong number two pick with a ton of upside (insert fat joke here), but the Round Mound of Rebound has been having a tough year.  I mean the press won’t even let him gable anymore, and since this is a heated election year, who knows what will happen the first time he makes a politically incorrect joke about McCain’s: age, health, race, etc.
David Stern: With the first pick in the second round, and third overall pick in the draft - RHHA selects Ron Jaworski from the ESPN network.

Mel Kiper: I’m simply amazed that a talent like Jaworski slipped to the second round.  He’s been flying up my Big Board ever since he began on Monday Night Football last year and hasn’t stopped rising since.  He’s the Peyton Manning of the booth.  He can see the field in a way that few people on the planet can, and he can communicate what he sees to a lamen of football.

Justin’s Analysis: I have to agree with Ch… er… Kiper on this one.  I was really hoping that I could grab Jaws in the second round, but alas I ended up going with…

David Stern: With the fourth overall pick - RSAR selects Buster Olney from the ESPN network.

Justin’s Analysis: Now Chad I know you were a little shocked with this pick, but no one has as much access as Buster Olney when it comes to getting baseball news, and with baseball being the most news-heavy sports, I had to get Olney before you did.

Chad’s Analysis: Buster is a great talent, but is he truly a second round pick?  In terms of value, I believe you could’ve gotten him in at least the 6th round.  But who am I to argue….you have the next pick…what’s it going to be?

David Stern: With the fifth overall pick - RSAR selects Marv Albert from the TNT network.

Could we see this Marv if he's teamed up with Erin? YES!!!

Justin’s Analysis: Marv Albert is (biting incidents asside) without a doubt my favorite announcer regardless of the sport.  No one captures the moment quite as well as Marv, and I was more than happy to have him anchor my NBA announcing team.

Chad’s Analysis: YESS!!!!  Marv is my favorite NBA announcer too.  But his age was a concern of mine.  That biting could turn into biting AND clawing, and then we’d have ourselves a real mess.  Might want to keep him away from EA - I’m just sayin’…

David Stern: With the sixth pick, RHHA selects (EJ) Ernie Johnson from the TNT network.  HELL YEA, GO NBA!

Mel Kiper: The NBA is on the rise again, and it looks like RHHA is trying to get a step ahead of the rest of the teams.  If it’s a great game, everyone’s going to be watching anyway - the key is to keep them watching when the game isn’t going on.  Ernie is not only insightful and can lead an in-studio crew with the best of them, but he can interpret whatever Charles says on the fly without a hitch.

Justin’s Analysis: To be honest I was a little surprised Ernie went so high in this draft.  He is great at setting up the Charles, but you could put Bryant Gumbel in the news room with Charles and it would be entertaining.

Kiper’s Big Board:
Chris Berman
Hubie Brown
Mike Tirico
Bob Costas
Kenny Mayne

David Stern: With the seventh pick, RHHA selects Jim Nantz from the CBS network.

Chad’s Analysis: With Tiger Woods in his prime for another ten years I have to have the perfect guy to take us through the final round, and to say only what is necessary after TW sinks the putt on 18.

Justin’s Analysis: I can’t believe you went with a golf guy in the lottery of this draft!  As much as I love Tiger, I wouldn’t have selected Jim Nantz in the first 20 rounds.

David Stern (who is starting to look a bit sleepy):  With the eighth pick - RSAR selects Rich Eisen from the NFL Network.

Justin’s Analysis: I’m a huge fan of Rich Eisen, and I’m sticking him as one of my anchors to my Sportscenter clone.  The thing I like most about Eisen is that he doesn’t feel the need to try to be funny while giving us the highlights.  There’s nothing worse than having to watch Stuart Scott doing his, black guy imitating a white guy, imitating a black guy, bit.  Not too mention that guy’s crazy glass eye.

David Stern: With the ninth pick - RSAR select Chris Collinsworth from the NFL Network.

Justin’s Analysis: That’s right I’m going back to back with the NFL network guys, and I’d probably take Chris over anybody except Jaws when it comes to color commentators in the NFL.  Collinsworth does a great job of explaining the X’s and O’s of the NFL and is a joy to listen to, even if he has been held back a bit by his former teamates.   Now that he is spearheading my NFL booth, he will truly have a chance to shine.

Chad’s Analysis: I believe ya.  I haven’t heard his stuff in the last two years because I loathed his partner to a point that I swore off the entire network.  I didn’t send any of my scouts to see him either because I didn’t want them exposed to that kind of bad…

David Stern (who is enraged that he has to stay through the first five rounds - unlike his one and done deal with the NBA draft): With the tenth pick in the draft, RHHA takes - Hubie Brown from the ESPN network.

Chad’s Analysis: Despite being the third ranked sport right now, I’ve got my NBA coverage on lock.  Hubie Brown is one of the few analysts that still watches game tape, and could step out on the court and be a Top-10 coach right now.

Justin’s Analysis: I still have Marv Albert…. haha.

Next five picks:
11. RHHA - Kenny Mayne - ESPN
12. RSAR - Jeff Van Gundy - ESPN
13. RSAR - Chip Caray - TBS
14. RHHA - Dan Schulman - ESPN
15. RHHA - Orel Hershiser - ESPN

Justin’s Analysis: To anyone who thinks that I was drinking when I took Chip Caray with the 13th overall pick, just like the killer says in the movie Seven, you haven’t seen the whole picture yet.  And speaking of people who could go from being an analyst to a top ten coach in the NBA (in my best Good Ole JR voice)  Wait… it can’t be… that’s… that’s Van Gundy’s music!  My Gawd!

Chad’s Anaylsis: Kenny was a steal at 11 for me, and I knocked out two of my three baseball announcers with back-to-back picks after that.  And the best part is - if we include poker later on, Hershiser can pull some double duty after his finish in the Heads Up Poker Championships a few months ago!

Next five picks:
16. RSAR - James Brown - CBS
17. RSAR - Mike Tirico - ESPN
18. RHHA - Greg Gumbel - CBS
19. RHHA - Mike Breen - ESPN
20. RSAR - Daryl Johnston - FOX

Chad’s Analysis: This was a painful section for me here.  I needed to get my play-by-play guys, and got two of the best in Breen and Greg Gumbel (how the hell is it possible that brothers rank as one of the best and worst PBP announcers in the world?  It’s like if MJ had a brother that also played in the NBA).  Breen screaming “BANG” whenever someone hits a three is a dang close second to “YES” from Marv.  Plus, I don’t have to worry about him getting his hands on Erin.  But Brown is a tough guy to see go, Tirico has versatility, and Johnston would’ve been the perfect yang to Jaworski’s yin in my football booth.

Justin’s Analysis: Just twist the knife Chad, man you are cold blooded.  I think I hit my stride here with JB, Tirico and Johnston.  I grabbed the best football studio guys and two damn solid announcers in Tirico and Jonston, you team him up with Collinsworth and you’ve got yourself one hell of a team.

Is it the chin Chad? It is, isn't it.

Next five picks:
21. RSAR - Bob Costas - NBC
22. RHHA - Bill Cowher - CBS
23. RHHA - Ric Bucher - ESPN
24. RSAR - Gus Johnson - CBS
25. RSAR - Tom Jackson - ESPN

Justin’s Analysis: Bill Cowher Chad, really?  I mean, was Neon Deion not available or something?  Having a guy like Gus Johnson is like drafting Evan Longoria in a keeper league, you think you are just getting potential numbers, but the guy ends up going all, “I’m an all-star this year fool,” on you.  I’m not even going to gloat over the value I got out of Bob Costas at #21, because I know Chad is a sensitive guy, and I don’t want to have to watch him cry.

Chad’s Analysis: Five years ago, Costas would’ve been in my Top-5 for being a studio host either on our Sportscenter mock-up or for the NFL - but he’s fallen into obscurity and has lost a step or two.  Hell, it took me five minutes to remember who he worked for! With Cowher, I get the intelligent, well-spoken coach to anchor my football team in-studio despite him possibly going to the coaching ranks.  I was suprised that you jumped for Gus this early, but you were aware of Marv’s age and got his replacement holding the clipboard and taking notes for a couple years - good move, my friend.

Next five picks:
26. RHHA - Scott Van Pelt- ESPN
27. RHHA - Merril Hoge - ESPN
28. RSAR - Michael Wilbon - ESPN
29. RSAR - Jon Miller - ESPN
30. RHHA - Rick Sutcliffe - ESPN

Chad’s Analysis: Scott Van Pelt and Kenny Mayne in my studio - you aren’t gonna beat that unless Erin becomes a guest everyday - but you can’t risk overworking her!  Plus, I get the underrated Hoge who was high on my list, and I expect a full cancer recovery for Sutcliffe to complete my untouchable baseball announcers.  Have fun with Jon Miller forgetting where he’s at half the time, and putting the stress on the wrong syllable of every Latin American player’s last name!  Haha, sucker!

Justin’s Analysis: Oh Chad, we are only one person away from resolving the, “what the f*** is Justin doing with his baseball announcing team?” mystery.  Anyways, I ended up going with Wilbon at 28 because he brings a straight-forward approach to an NBA show, although he did lose some points with me when he talked about his disapproval for internet sports blogs and they can be childish.  I mean there’s nothing childish about what we are doing here, I mean just look at my number one pick.  Really, look at the picture, that is the total package, and a whole lot of talent!

Talk about a late round steal!

Next five picks:
31. RHHA - Kenny Smith- TNT
32. RSAR - Greg Anthony - ESPN
33. RSAR - Mike Fratello - ESPN
34. RHHA - Bonnie Bernstein - ESPN
35. RHHA - Harold Reynolds - ESPN

Justin’s Analysis: That’s right Chad, you may have taken Bonnie Bernstein at 34, but Erin Andrews will always be number one in your heart.  I decided to roll with Greg Anthony and Mike Fratello to bulk up on my NBA crew.  At this point in the draft I was really wishing that I could have had Charles, perhaps a trade may have to be in order.

Chad’s Analysis: Let’s be honest, Erin is No. 1 in the heart of every straight man in America (and maybe even an 1/8 of the ones that swing the other way), but have you seen Bonnie Bernstein lately?!?!  I saw her on Mike and Mike a few weeks ago and fell in love with her all over again.  Anthony and Fratello are solid - but with Kenny Smith, I’ve completed the TNT crew for my NBA in-studio hosts.  Amazing!  I don’t care if you have Marv, I’ll dominate NBA coverage!  Harold Reynolds is a huge sleeper, and I’m so glad he emerged on the set of TBS so I could pick him for this wonderous occasion.

Next five picks:
36. RSAR - Boomer Esiason- CBS
37. RSAR - Mike Greenberg- ESPN
38. RHHA - Peter Gammons - ESPN
39. RHHA - Gary McCord - CBS
40. RSAR - Nick Faldo- CBS

Chad’s Analysis: Greenberg is funny, but he needs a jock to play off of to get the comedy.  Eisen and Greenburg in your studio is going to produce a Vegas over/under of .5 laughs per show.  I enjoy laughing at some of things anchors cook up (all though I can’t stand Stu Scott, just like you).  Gammons is a baseball legend - and he looks like it too.  McCord will keep the mood light in the golf booth, just in case Tiger breaks a leg and happens to be out of contention.  Oh wait, he stays in contention despite that!

Justin’s Analysis: I’ll have to admit that Greeny and Eisen probably aren’t the most interesting studion duo out there, but I have plans for that, don’t worry.  And as far as Nick Faldo goes, I had to ask Chad who he was, because I couldn’t remember his name.  Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, you should really keep Reynolds away from Bonnie, I hear he doesn’t always play nice with the ladies.   I like Gammons but he’s had a stroke and he’s a Red Sox guy, which pretty much makes him untouchable in my book.

Final eight picks:
41. RSAR - Karl Ravech - ESPN
42. RHHA - John Madden - NBC
43. RHHA - Howie Schwab - ESPN
44. RSAR - Ken “Hawk” Harrelson - CSN/WGN
45. RSAR - Eric Karabell - ESPN
46. RHHA - Kirk Herbstreit - ESPN
47. RHHA - Chris Berman - CBS
48. RSAR - Jamal Mashburn - ESPN

Justin’s Analysis: And finally I can unveil the conerstone of my network: Happy Hour Fun Time with Hawk, Chip and Miller!   Since I never listen to baseball commentary anyways I thought I’d have some fun with my booth and put a couple of known drinkers together with a guy who pronounces names like he’s drunk.  Just imagine the endorsement opportunities.  The only downside I see here is Hawk jumping out of the booth in a drunken rage to hunt down a ump who missed a call.  But that’s when I unleash my secret weapon… we cut to Erin Andrews doing an interview with a group of sorority girls at the game.  Finally my plan lives… it’s ALIVE!

Chad’s Analysis: Wow!  Three play-by-play guys in one booth, one of which is permanently wasted, another has alcoholism in his family and the last talks like he’s drunk.  Erin is going to barely keep your baseball crew afloat - and I can’t even imagine the lines they’ll use to hit on her!  Some may question my Madden selection, but love him or hate him, you always watch him.  Schwaby and Karabell will anchor our fantasy coverage, which probably pisses Matt Berry off since he’s the one that has the Emmy.  Berman was not at all happy about falling this late, and his reaction shows…

So who’s network is better??  Cast your vote by leaving a comment below!!!

The Response

Ask Justin. Ask anyone that knows me, and spoke to me in the last 24 hours about my thoughts reagarding the CC Sabathia trade, and my response was simple: It hurts. Sabathia has been lights out following his first four starts of the year, and gives the Brewers a lethal 1-2 punch for the rest of the season - and potentially in the playoffs.

The move devastated me, and I didn’t believe the Cubs had the bullets to go after any of the other major pitching talents in the majors. Erik Bedard would’ve commanded a similar haul that he was traded to Seattle for, Rich Harden has pitched so well that his stock was at its maximum, and there was nobody else available that could make the impact that the Cubs need.

And then out of the blue - BREAKING NEWS flashed across Sportscenter as I was getting ready to leave work - The Chicago Cubs have acquired Rich Harden AND Chad Gaudin for a quartet of players. I shot up from my chair and yelled at my remaining co-workers to stay quiet. Josh Elliot continued delivering the story and finally moved to the players the Cubs were sending back. My stomach twisted as I began to get sick imagining the load of prospect we’d have to give up. The graphic came on the screen, and read: A’s get: OF Matt Murton, OF Eric Patterson, SP Sean Gallagher, C Josh Donaldson.

(So long gentleman - been nice knowing ya!)

Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Hold the phones here. Run those names by me again: Murton, Patterson, Gallagher, and Donaldson. Wait - can you tell them to me again? Because I want to hear those sweet words one more time. You mean to tell me we traded for a guy that has arguably the best stuff in the majors (when he’s healthy) along with an above-average reliever for three guys that have bounced back and forth between Iowa and Chicago, and our second round pick from last year that is 22 and batting .217 in Class-A Peoria? Can someone grab me a cigarette? My heart is going to explode if I don’t get something. Give me a minute here…

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Justin was right…YES WE CAN!

Don’t get me wrong - we gave up some talented players, but none of those guys were going to get a full opportunity to play in the next 2-3 years, and by that time they won’t be worth a whole lot. Murton has the potential to be a .295 hitter with a .370 OBP, but he wont ever hit more than 20 homers, and plays well below-average defense in the outfield. Those numbers are not going to overtake Soriano or Fukudome - not to mention the difference in the money they’re making.

Eric Patterson is a 2B playing out of position in LF so far in the majors. He could be an average second baseman in The Show, with a .280/.330/.425 potential while playing a slick but not flashy second. His swing can get a little long from time to time, like his brother Corey, and he was sent down last year because of a problem with punctuality. But again, with Mark DeRosa under contract for another year, along with Ronny Cedeno, Mike Fontenot, and Ryan Theriot having the ability to play over at second base, Patterson was not in any short or long-term plans. We was expendable.

Losing Sean Gallagher hurts a little bit. He’s a 23-year-old starting pitcher with the potential to be a No. 3 pitcher in a big league rotation one day. Unfortunately, he was trapped in an organization that can’t and wont wait around to see if you can hack it in the bigs. He’ll have the opportunity to have growing pains without a rabid fan base all over his back out in Oakland. He may be better off out there.

Josh Donaldson is a Moneyball type player. He’s young (22) but hasn’t gotten passed Mid-A ball yet. He was awesome last year in short season A-ball - hitting over .300 with a .400+ OBP. Those numbers haven’t translated to 2008, but the A’s think he’ll be a solid addition long-term.

Enough with the wishy washy parting gifts - show me the money baby! Harden has an ERA of 0.68 in three starts against National League teams this year, and has a strikeout ratio that is downright phenomenal. The best part about Harden is that he has a club option for 2009 worth a modest $7 million! If the Cubs can find a way to keep him healthy, he is gonna be the punch that the Cubs have been searching for behind Carlos Zambrano since - God, please don’t strike me dead for saying this - Mark Prior.

A’s General Manager Billy Beane got some very solid players for Harden and Gaudin, more than he could’ve imagined a year ago today.  But the Cubs and GM Jim Hendry got exactly what they needed, and they gave up nothing in regards to superstar potential.  Oh it’s a sweet, sweet feeling.

It’s time of celebration Cub fans…now all we have to do is beat off the pursuers for 2 1/2 more months!

(Welcome Mr. Harden - the Cubs have rented you a rubber room downtown for your stay here)

America’s Busy Birthday

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekend.   Between all of the cooking-out, drinking, and other mindless activities, it’s been a bit rough getting back into the grove of things today.   Of course it doesn’t help matters that it’s about 450 degrees outside today, but the show must go on.  

Last week I promised to post some photo’s of me in a Cubs hat.   So…

 

[Top: The TOUTS CREW, Bottom: My Buddy Zach Approving My New Look]

 

 

 

 There were more photo’s on my camera but somehow during my friends six kegger my camera got into the wrong hands.   When I went to upload the photos to my computer all that showed up were pictures of random girls, fireworks and other booze fueled shananigans.   I was just happy that the camera didn’t end up in the pool, I mean it’s a cheap camera and all, but it’s all I have. 

I’m not sure what’s more embarrassing about the photos: the undersized Cub’s hat, my ridiculous mustache, or how out of shape I’ve gotten in the past couple of years.   I think it’s a combination of all three that makes me look like a true jagbag.   Getting rid of the Cubs hat and the mustache was easy enough, but losing the weight is going to take some time.  Maybe I’ll incorporate losing some weight in future blog posts, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

It was a busy weekend in the wide world of sports as well: Rafael Nadal defeated Roger Federer in a classic five set match to gain his first Wimbledon final, the Yankees were able to split their series with the dreaded BoSox, and CC Sabathia was traded to Milwaukee, much to the dismay of Cubs fans all over the world.   Here are some ruminations of what took place last weekend.

 

Nadal Slays the Giant

Nadal takes a breather after defeating Roger Federer to win Wimbledon on Sunday.

 I’m not a big fan of tennis, but watching Rafael Nadal defeat Roger Federer in the Wimbledon final (6-4, 6-4, 6-7, 6-7, 9-7) was pretty fantastic.   It was a tennis match that featured two of the sport’s best just unloading on each other like it was a heavy weight title contest.  They were both getting serves up over 120 MPH and were hitting some impossible shots under unbelievable amounts of pressure. 

 The rain delays did put me to sleep a couple of times, but I was hung over and tired, so I’m not going to hold that against what was an epic five-plus hour long match. 

Early in the match it looked like Nadal was just going to run away with the title, but anyone who has watched Roger Federer over the years knows that he can not be killed by standard weapons.   I was more than a little worried about Nadal when he was unable to close Roger out in the third set when Nadal had three championship points.   But fate was not going to be denied this year for the Spaniard.  It seemed as if Nadal’s athleticism was able to carry him through the fifth set, and by the time that the two players got to the seventh set, Nadal was able to break Federer’s serve and defeat his long time foe by holding serve in the sixteenth game of the fifth set (there is no tie-breaker in the fifth set at Wimbledon). 

It was pretty clear that Nadal’s freakish athleticism played a huge role in his victory.  This begs the question, will we see a wave of new, super athletic players in professional tennis in the coming years?  I’m not sure, it’s been over a decade since Tiger Woods showed what being in incredible shape could do to one’s golf game, and we still haven’t seen anyone who is as ”pumped up” as Tiger in the PGA.  Time will tell how Nadal’s success at Wimbledon shapes the game of tennis in years to come.

In case you either haven’t noticed, or don’t care, it’s been a good couple of weeks for Spain in the sports world as they had won the EuroCup a week before Nadal was able to win at Wimbledon.  I guess good things come to countries that export such beautiful women.     

Is Aludena Fernandez the source of Spain's recent emergence in the sporting world? You be the judge.

 

 

 

 CC is on his way to Milwaukee

Uh oh Cubs fans, here comes Sabathia. And he looks hungry!

Cubs fans have always been aware that the Brewers have a lot of talented young offensive players, but they were always a little soft in their starting rotation.   Well it appears as if Milwaukee is making their push for a division title (or at least the wild card) with the acquisition of Indians’ ace, CC Sabathia.  Sabathia has been a bit down this year compared to his Cy Young season last year, but he is still a pitcher who has the potential to carry a team deep into the playoffs, which is something that the Brewers desperately need.  

Sabathia is going to be a free-agent at the end of the year, so I doubt he will be a Brewer for long; but with the combination of CC and Ben Sheets, anything can happen, especially when the National League is as week as it is this year.  I’m sure that thousands of Cubs fans all over the country got a little lump in their throat when they heard about the trade, which apparently cost Milwaukee four prospects, but I wouldn’t get too worried in Chicago just yet. 

In my (very humble) opinion, the Cubs are still the team to beat in the puddle of yuck that is the National League.   While there is some bad news for Chi-Town, Sabathia did have a 2.76 ERA and 7 wins after the all star break last year, the same can not be said of the rest of the pitchers in the Brewers rotation. It’s is certainly no lock that Ben Sheets will be able to stay healthy all year, given his track record in that regard.   Jeff Suppan is currently on the Brewers’ DL, Manny Parra is unproven, and Dave Bush had an ERA of about 5.5 in the second half of last year; not to mention that horrendous bullpen. Don’t believe me?  Well I have two words for you: Eric Gagne.    

I know it’s in the blood of all Cubs fans to start to worry around this time of year.  You are just looking for ways for the Cubbies to blow their lead, I guess a century of bad will do that to a fan base, but stop worrying. 

This is the year! 

It’s going to happen! 

Yes you can! 

Oh who am I kidding, you should be worried out of your mind right now, you’ve seen this happen before.   Run!  Sabathia is coming for you like the monster from Cloverfield, and it’s only a matter of time before he gets you!

Some 3rd of July Fireworks

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays because it’s in the summer and features copious amounts of alcohol and fireworks, two things that I can get behind.   But before I wax poetically about America’s birthday, let’s get a little housekeeping out of the way.   First of all, Chad had it right to start off his last post.  The more you click the “digg this” button at the bottom of the post, the more people that will (hopefully) visit the site.   We’ve just gotten to the point where we have enough crap (and by crap I mean transfixing work of undeniable genius) written that people will visit the site even if we haven’t written anything, which is kind of a strange honor, but now that we are back from our vacation we are looking to take this humble site to the next level.   So please feel free to leave comments and tell others about our zany little site we have here.  We’d love to create a community of those who love sports, but hate the some old coverage they’ve been getting for years.

(Alright, enough with the sales pitch, let’s get back to the sports)

The Comeback Kid 

Will he come back?

 

By now I am sure everyone has heard that Favre is thinking about making a (um) comeback(?).  No one should be suprised by this, because it is only human nature to want to keep working after doing something you loved doing all your life.   I wrote some rather flattering words about Favre on this site in the past and those words still hold true now.  Favre is simply one of the greatest athletes of this generation and it is a pleasure watching him play.  What the strange thing is about all of this (besides all of the “itch” and “ointment” references being made on the WWL) is that there is a large contingent of people who think that the Packers should not take Favre back on their team.  

 

Now I’ve always thought that Packer fans were out of their minds, but anyone who thinks that Green Bay should say no to Favre and send Aaron Rogers out to the slaughter this year are out of their damn minds!  You know the first time that kid makes a bad decision there is going to be bloodshed in the streets of Green Bay.  Now that Favre has expressed even the slightest interest of returning to football, Rodgers becomes the back-up in the minds of thousands of Packer fans.  It may not be fair to Rodgers, but it’s just the way it is.  Favre would make over 12 million dolalrs next year if he plays in Green Bay, which is obviously a lot of money - especially when you consider how cheap the Packers have been over the years, but Brett’s numbers last year more than make him worth the investment.  

 

Put it this way…

 

Would you pay 12 million for a quarterback who could get you: 4155 yards, 28 TD’s, 95.7 QB rating, would that be something you’d be interested in?  If you are not New England or Indianapolis, of course you’d want someone as talented as Brett Favre running your offense.  Not only is this guy giving you a great chance of winning, you are also getting the media attention of being part of Favre’s Farewell Tour 2008.   The thing is - I don’t want to see Brett Favre playing for another team for a year or two like Jerry Rice did.   It was bad enough watching my childhood hero playing for the Raiders (and two other teams that I’m not going to name here), but to watch Brett Favre suiting up for the Vikings, or even the 49ers for that matter, would make me want to give up on sports.  

 

So here’s a little clue to the people in the media.  Stop being idiots.  Favre belongs in Green Bay, and who cares how this makes Aaron Rodgers feel.   This is professional football, not The View, since when did we start caring how personnel decisions make players feel?   The NFL is America’s game, and we deserve to be able to watch Brett Favre play for the Packers and not some shitty team where his poor play would only tarnish his legacy.  I still have a bad taste in my mouth from watching Jerry Rice in his 40’s, don’t do it to me again.  Hell, I grew up despising the Packers and I’m rooting for Favre to play one more year in the green and gold.  Make it happen football gods, and I’ll get back to you guys when fantasy football is about to start.

 

 

Strange Days

 

Things just keep getting weirder with this whole A-Rod/Madonna/Mrs. Rodriguez/Lenny Kravitz love square.   Apparently A-Rod and his wife Cynthia are now separating, and I don’t want to make any assumptions here, but I think infidelity may have had something to do with it.  Just as I was trying to wrap my head around A-Rod shacking up with Madonna there came reports that A-Rod’s wife may be spending some quality time with Lenny Kravitz.   kravitz denies that he and (the soon to be former) Mrs. Rodriguez have been hooking up, but even having his name mentioned in this circus just makes things even crazier than they already are. 

 

Now usually i don’t care what and who professional athletes are doing in their spare time, but being a Yankees fan kind of makes this impossible to ignore.  Add to this the fact that the Red Sox are rolling in this weekend for a four game series and you have the potetial for some of the greatest heckling in Major League history.   Just imagine a couple thousand drunk Boston fans singing, Like a Virgin, while thousands of more drunk Yankee fans try to decide whether or not they want to defend A-Rod or let the heckling go on because of the way A-Rod has performed the last couple of years in the playoffs.  I could go on and on about this tabloid crap, but I don’t really feel comfortable talking about who A-Rod may or may not be sleeping with.

 

(Moving on)

 

…

 

I Need A Hero

 

 I don’t know if it’s just the Yankees mediocrity or the A-Rod madness, but for some reason I find Jason Giambis ’stache to be the most interesting development in the Yankees season so far.   First there was the gold thong that was apparently being passed around the clubhouse, and that was strange enough, but when Chin-Mieng Wang went down, someone had to take one for the team.  That’s when Jason Giambi started growing a mustache for the record books, and as a bonus he began to actually hit the ball.  Just last night Jason Giambi’s mustache hit two homers, giving JGM (I will now refer to Jason Giambi as Jason Giambi’s Mustache or JGM for short until he shaves, or until the Yankees buy-out his contract at the end of the year) 17 HR’s on the year. 

 

The Yankees are currently 45-40 and 7.5 games behind the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, which is about the most depressing stat that I have ever looked at.  One could say that my strange mancrush for JGM is just a way of coping.  I mean really, am I going to put my hope in the hands of Andy Pettitte and Mike Mussina during the second half of the season?  No, I can only hope that if I close my eyes and wish upon a star, JGM will lead the Yankees to the Playoffs despite their 4.20 ERA and those pesky power outages that seem to happen from time to time. 

 

We’ll see what JGM is able to do against the Red Sox this weekend.   The Sox are just coming off getting swept by the Devil Rays so hopefully the Yanks will be able to kick them when they are down.   I got a chance to watch the most of the Sox/Devil Rays game last night and I have to say that I am not impressed by the Red Sox bullpen.  Boston will be sending out Lester, Beckett, Masterson and Wakefield for this series, and if JGM and crew can show some patience at the plate, they should be able to  get into that bullpen and win at least 3/4 against the Beantown Bombers.    Here’s to hoping anyway.

 

Final Thoughts

 

That’s going to do it for us Chad and I this week.  We are both going to be enjoying the fourth at a party that is allegedly going to have six kegs and a wet T-shirt contest.  But, as most of you know, when a guy boasts he is going to have a six kegger with a wet T-shirt contest, he really means that he is really having a two kegger with a couple of girls that enjoy taking their shirts off in public.  So I’m keeping my expectations low, and hoping for the best… kind of like my expectations for the Yankees in the second half.   So here’s a little homework for this weekend:

 

Drink Some Beers.

 

Eat Some Hot Dogs.

 

Blow Some Shit Up.

 

DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE!

 

…and enjoy yourselves.

 

……

 

Oh yeah, there are some terrible rumors being spread about me having to wear a Cubs hat on the fourth.   These rumors are unfortunately ture.  I lost a bet, and it’s time for me to be a man and pay off my bet.   Even if the hat is two sizes too small and makes me feel like I just took a gulp of bitter beer every time I put it on.   There may or may not be more photo’s like the one featured below on Monday.

 

 

 

Wearing an undersized Cubs hat makes me a Sad Panda.

 

 

 

 

 

Thinkin’ Cubs

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I’ve been overly jubilant over the last couple of months, but really couldn’t pinpoint the reason why. I just figured it was a combination of a good job, good friends, and good times altogether. Then, while on the phone with a friend today, the words just poured out. The happiness is because the Cubs are leading the league! Isn’t that sick? If the Cubs were floundering with a sub-.500 record, I would probably be selling cocaine to the druggies just to keep myself busy and not pay attention to the North Siders. Let’s just say - I don’t handle losing well. It’s the same drive like when I pick up a new Madden…I learn not to lose (Justin understands my wrath when it comes to Madden and MVP Baseball).

Unfortunately, the nature of baseball doesn’t allow a team to be as dominant as I can be over a video game. And if you’ve paid attention to the standings lately, the Cubs are slipping, and the dreaded Brewers are surging. Even though Milwaukee remains in third place, I still don’t fear the Cardinals at all. Tony La DUI will run out of Budweiser to give his players at some point, and when they wake up with that nasty hangover, they’ll be sitting eight games out of first.

Don’t fear though Cubs fans. It’s part of the natural progression of the world. A team can’t be red hot for six months. It just doesn’t happen.

ALL-STARS:

If you didn’t happen to read our commentary a few days ago, do so first of all. But the cliff notes of what my feelings are on the All Star game can be summed up in two words: &*^%! *@*#&%%@(!^*. Yea…I guess I really don’t qualify as a “fan.” The voting is stupid, the timing sucks, and the fact that it’s played with forced meaning is downright ludicrous - but I digress.

It appears that the Cubbies will have three starters in the game: Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome, and Geovany Soto. Soriano will undoubtedly skip the festivities while recovering from his busted wrist, and I would love to see the other two take the days off to rest because they both have some nagging injuries that require any rest you can get them. Carlos Zambrano, Ryan Dempster, and Kerry Wood are virtual locks for the pitching staff, and Carlos Marmol is toeing the bubble with his poor performances throughout the past three weeks. Again, I’d love to see all of those guys skip the festivities and take the game off. Wood and Marmol are among the league leaders in appearances in the National League, Carlos Zambrano will be off the DL for a little more than a week, and Dempster is in the midst of his first full year as a double-digit starter since 2003. So let’s recap: I hate the All-Star Game, and I think the Cubs that are invited to take the high road and miss their plane to New York. Are we clear on this?

Injury Hell:

Every team goes through it, and it’s impossible to avoid. Injuries have riddled the Cubs over the past month and it’s showing. In the last three weeks, we’ve put Soriano, Zambrano, Reed Johnson, Daryle Ward, and Scott Eyre on the 15-day disabled list, and dealt with the day-to-day bumps and bruises of Fukudome, Jim Edmonds, and Ryan Theriot. Dealing with injuries is no fun at all. Ask the Colorado Rockies. They were picked to roll right back toward the World Series this year after a miraculous run at the end of 2007. Unfortunately, devastating injuries piled up one after another, forcing them to play without offensive stalwarts Troy Tulowitzki (also a defensive whiz), Matt Holliday, Garrett Atkins, Willy Taveras, and Brad Hawpe for differing periods of time. The Cubs have lost key components just like the Rockies, but have responded by winning games in other ways. The Rockies lost main components of their offense, and instead of their pitchers stepping up, they crumbled in the thin air of the Rocky Mountains. What have the Cubs done when they lost big bopper Alfonso Soriano? They started taking more pitches, working deeper counts, and getting on-base at a higher clip. The Cubs showed off the depth that have at bottom of their 25-man roster, and at the top of their Triple-A Iowa club that have filled in admirably. But let’s get these wimps back in the lineup, eh?

Aramis Ramirez:

He left for three days (will return Thursday) to tend to “personal matters” down in the Dominican Republic. DON’T…GIVE…ME…A…FREAKING…HEARTATTACK - I’m high strung as it is! “Personal matter???” That can only have about 50,000 different meanings. His brother could’ve been wrongfully accused and thrown in jail, and he’s going down to bust him out Prison Break style. A member of his nuclear family has died, putting his second half numbers at about .150, 4, and 12. He may be going down their to donate one of his kidneys to his third cousin! That kinda crap could zap the power surge I expect from him in the second half. Don’t give me “personal matter” as a freaking excuse. About 24 hours later, we found out he left because his wife was having a baby. WHEW! My blood pressure sailed back down from Sears Tower proportions. Jeeeez man…don’t scare a brother like that. My buddy Derek’s wife just had a baby girl this weekend (Congrats to them by the way — and the winner of our baby pool got nearly $20…damnit - I didn’t win) and ya know what his excuse was for missing work? “Hey guys, my wifes having a baby, I’m gonna take a few days off to be with her and the newborn.” My response: “Ahhh, sweet deal man. Take your time, we’ll see ya when ya get back.” He didn’t say I have “personal matters” to attend to, only fueling speculation in my mind as to whether he was going to drive up to New York and take a shot at one of the Steinbrenner brothers. He told us what was up. Seeeeeee. Not that FREAKING hard!

Cardinals Turning Blue:

I applauded the signing of Jim Edmonds a couple of months ago. They screwed up Felix Pie to the point that he will never become a Major League regular, and the team needed a left-handed jolt to man the center pasture. Edmonds was released by the Padres, and the Cubs jumped. They signed him at the risk free price of the pro-rated minimum contract for the years of service he’s been in the league and slapped him in the starting lineup to see if he’d stick. It took a few weeks, and Edmonds was on the edge of getting the boot when all of the sudden he returned to his pre-injured form. He started staying on the ball more, driving it to the opposite field, and drawing his usual assortment of walks. He’s also solidified the defense by making his basket catches and up-hill dives seem effortless. It’s like we robbed the Jim Edmonds that played for the Cardinals back in 2006! I can’t wait till we play St. Louis on Friday. I’m not sure what the fans are going to do. Edmonds was a great player for the Cards for a number of years, but now he plays for the dreaded Cubbies! Boy o’ boy…I’m just beside myself in anticipation. My prediction: those panzies that call themselves Cardinal fans will boo him out of the stadium.

The Trade Front:

It’s no secret that the Cubs are in search of a difference-making starting pitcher. That statement is a bit laughable, isn’t it? I mean, what team would pass up the opportunity to take a pitcher that has #1 ability if the price was right? C.C. Sabathia is the name that is on the tip of everyone’s tongue these days. The Cleveland Indians have been absolutely dreadful, and are getting buried in the American League Central with an offense that is sputtering like an four banger only hittin’ on three. Sabathia is going to be traded, and the price could potentially be a steep one, despite the fact he’s a free agent at the end of the season. As much as I’d like to think the Cubs are in the race for him, I can’t. The Cubs have exactly zero players that would qualify as a top-30 prospect in baseball, and would seriously demolish their team depth if they traded a package that included a combination of Ronny Cedeno, Sean Gallagher, and Matt Murton. Unfortunately, the team that is the richest in Major League ready hitters (exactly what Cleveland lacks) is the Brewers - who just happen to be in the market for a front line pitcher. Take a look at these statistics of their top players in Double-A Hunstville. Matt LaPorta and Mat Gamel are both considered ready for The Show, and SS Alcides Escobar is only 21 and is a highly touted middle infield prospect. With those pieces to offer, and pressure from the fan base to contend after a late collapse in 2007 - the Brewers could pull the trigger if they only have to give up one of those guys. Other names that may be on the Cubs radar:

Rich Harden: I typed that name while cringing. When healthy, most scouts consider him the most unhittable pitcher in the Majors. Their were two keywords in that last sentence in case ya missed it: When healthy. He’s a good curveball away from landing on the DL, but would make the Cubs a scary opponent in the playoffs if they can line up Zambano, Harden, Dempster, and Lilly in a series.

A.J. Burnett: Again, I shiver. He gets hurt all too often as well, but does have some upside. The price for him wouldn’t be nearly as high (maybe Murton and a pitcher), but he’s awfully inconsistent, and wouldn’t necessarily be a huge upgrade over what they have. I give this one the least chance of happening.

Aaron Cook: The Rockies say they aren’t going to trade him - so I might as well not waste anymore time…

Randy Wolf: The Padres have interest in Matt Murton, and the Cubs need pitching, so it seems destined to happen, right? Not so fast my friends. I revert back to the point of whether or not he’s really an upgrade over what we already have. The Cubs need someone that can pitch in the second game of a playoff series. Wolf isn’t that guy.

Have a happy and SAFE 4th of July everyone!!

Tabloid Tuesday

From the, “things you just can’t make up” department, we get this story from Usmagazine.com.  Basically the gist is that A-Rod, a player who has inspired more ire from me than any other player in sports history, was reported to be at Madonna’s New York apartment (Get This!) the night after his daughter was born. 

The article goes on to talk about how Rodriguez has been to Madonna’s apartment a number of times and attended her concert in New York nine days after his wife gave birth to his second child. 

This wouldn’t be the first time A-Rod has been accused of infidelity, but this story takes the cake when it comes to strange celebrity hook-ups.  Apparently Madonna is having some relationship problems with her husband Guy Ritchie and Rodriguez is just doing his best to be a good friend in these tough times.  

I’m not going to pretend to me a relationship guru here, but when you are fighting with your husband, it’s probably not a good idea to invite professional baseball players over to your apartment at night.    As I hear that professional baseball players have been known to takeadvantage women from time to time.  

This is what I really don’t get, isn’t Madonna like 50 years old?  What is A-Rod doing hanging out with someone who can get a discount at restaurants for being old?   Rodriguez is one of the most well known athletes in the world, if he was going to mess around on his wife, wouldn’t he want to shack up with a swimsuit model or perhaps a Victoria Secret Model?   I don’t know, to each his own I guess. 

I’m sure we will be hearing much more about this in the coming days as US Weekly promises to run a story on the ongoings of these two in their next magazine.   If anything else this just goes to show that I don’t understand the lives of the rich and famous, and I don’t think I want to either.

Source: http://www.usmagazine.com/exclusive-alex-rodriguez-at-madonnas-apartment-right-after-wife-gave-birth

Happy Monday!

I’ve had my differences with ESPN analyst Stephen A Smith, which is to say that I disagree with pretty much everything he has to say, and I was delighted to find this gem of a youtube video over at deadspin.com the other day.  It seems that people with more imagination than I have are already fighting the good fight against Mr. Smith.   This may be my favorite youtube clip of all time and it really explains itself, please enjoy.   Mondays are all about surviving, and videos like this are what get me to Tuesdays.  How do I survive Tuesdays you ask?  You’ll have to come back tomorrow to find out!

Source: http://deadspin.com/5020510/stephen-as-career-never-too-dismal-for-heckling

The Teams We Love…Yet Despise

Chad: Do you want to know how much third place can cost in Major League Baseball right now?

Justin: Wow, you’re going with the digs right off the back. I don’t know, but I’m sure you are talking about the Yankees…. so enlighten me?

Chad: Ohhhh, ’bout 208 million bucks I believe. And that doesn’t even get you first place in the wild card either. Your Yanks are in third place in that race as well.

Justin: Yeah, things haven’t been that great for Yankees fans this year. I’m going to blame the new management. If baseball is all about pitching we are in trouble. Joba has that innings limit, so he can’t carry our team, and with Wang out into September… it’s not looking good. On the bright side, Jason Giambi is rocking one of the best mustaches since they were being rocked by 70’s porn stars!

Chad: And the coolest thing is that he actually subscribed to hair color for men and went darker! I thought the Yankees had a facial hair ban? Do they think by lifting it that Johnny Damon will go all Jesus again like he did in ‘04?

Justin: I’m not sure, but Damon was turning into a Jesus like figure in New York recently. He’s had a .370 batting average over the last 30 days, but of course he had to go and hurt his foot. Some Savior he is. At this point it looks like Tampa Bay is for real, and I can’t believe I’m saying that, but they have some great pitching with Kazmir, Shields and Garza and their young hitters are just freakish athletes (but we have known that for the last couple of years). I swear to God if I have to watch a Cubs/Rays World Series I’m banning baseball from my life.

Chad: Banning baseball for life? That’s some pretty serious talk, my friend. Maybe you should just give in and put on that Cubs hat you’ve been itching to wear for years. Speaking of that… I believe you have yet to pay up our March Madness bet, and I’m going to be home for the 4th of July - you best be buying that hat this week

Justin: Oh man, I forgot all about that. No, I’m not going to become a lifelong Cubs fan, but I will live up to my end of the bet. I am becoming a lifelong fan of Cubs and White Sox fans fighting at their interleague games. What’s your take on this rivalry?

Chad: I think we are seeing the peak years of it for numerous reasons. No. 1 - We’ve had interleague play for 10 years now, so there is no excuses for not knowing pitchers in the opposing league, and no reason why managers should make rookie mistakes. No. 2 - We’ve got two of the best quotable managers in the history of baseball! Does it get any better than Ozzie vs. Sweet Lou. And my God, have you seen the Comcast commercial where the two of them rap (see video below)? It’s demolishes the unintentional comedy scale.

Justin: Oh I love Sweet Lou and the Ozz both managing in the same town. Ozzy has been my favorite manager since he started with Sox, and Lou is just Lou, you have to love him. Chicago fans are some of the most passionate fans in sports, but they can also be some of the dumbest and drunkest fans in sports. Not taking anything away from Phili fans ofcourse. This Cubs team intrigues me because they don’t seem to play with that giant (we haven’t won a world series in a century) monkey on their back. It will be interesting to see if that changes as we start the second half of the season. As for the White Sox, you never know what you are going to get out of them. They have the power in their line-up to score 10 or more against any pitcher in the league, but they can also go 10 games without scoring more than 10 runs. They are just as perplexing as their manager, which is all-to-perfect.

Chad: I made a bet with a couple buddies of mine that the White Sox would not make the playoffs, and that they would finish worse than the Cubs in the standings. I’m sticking to my guns on both those bets. If you’ve read everything I’ve wrote about baseball this year, I still believe that the Tigers will take that division. The Sox young pitchers can’t keep up this torrid pace, and their big hitters are well past peak in their careers. As for the Cubs, I’ve been shocked by their play this year. Where in the hell did they all learn to take pitches?? I know Kosuke Fukudome is a guy that takes good at-bats, but did that spread like a virus? That’s why I believe the Cubs success could be long-term.

Justin: I agree on both counts. I’m still waiting for the White Sox bloody collapse which hopefully will lead to Ozzy calling multiple White Sox players pieces of shit and threatening to kill someone. That should be fantastic. I don’t know how the Cubs started taking pitches, but it probably just came down to their players realizing that they could trust the guys behind them in the line-up. And LOOK at that line-up it’s crazy good. They are playing the way that people thought the Yankees line-ups should have performed over the last few years. Unfortunately it’s starting to look like that Yankees window is closing. What has happened to this league?

Chad: Well, the league haven’t changed a whole lot, just the names within them. The AL is still the class of baseball because it has a division where two teams have the ability to spend $150 million - driving the price up for all the other teams in the league. The Cubs and the Phillies appear to be the only National League teams that could compete against the AL’s best right now, and both teams are struggling a bit.

Justin: Well until their is a salary cap in baseball (ha ha) you can’t blame the Yankees and Red Sox for spending money in order to win. It’s not as if the MLB is hurting for money, even with all of the recent steroids in baseball news we are still seeing record high profits for baseball. If teams like Kansas City and the Marlins can’t get people to show up then I have two suggestions, move or be get out of the business. I don’t think we’ll ever see a salary cap in baseball however, so don’t look their for the answer.

Chad: Well I think it’s safe to say that the Yankees will let Carl Pavano go, as he hasn’t payed for them since… well forever really. But I really don’t know what their plan is outside of getting some new starters and hopefully a new first basemen. I think the Yankees put a lot of faith in the arms of Phillip Hughes, Ian Kennedy and Joba Chamberlain. So we’ll have to see how that pans out, but your guess is as good as mine as to what they are planning to do in free-agency. Oh by the way, the White Sox/Cubs game is just starting over on the WWL, and you favorite analyst is calling the game. Why don’t you expound upon how great Joe Morgan is?

Justin: Well in the last 15 days he has 12 runs, 7 RBIs, a steal and a .327 BA, so I thik he may still have a little left in his tank. I don’t know what was going on with him getting dropped, but if I hadn’t been in my sickened state the over the last week I would have picked him up. But I’m not sure I want to talk about our fantasy league, I’m floating around .500 and in seventh place wheras you are in first place. But go ahead, I’ll give you this oppurtunity to gloat a little.

Chad: You have been gone for awhile, because I’ve sunk to second place by a game, and will be in third by the end of the night. I have some awful pitching, and that has really held me back this year. My offense is dominating, but I have a couple of guys that are injury threats everyday. Unfortunately, those guys are also the best hitters in baseball right now - I’m speaking about Chipper Jones and Josh Hamilton. Speaking of fantasy baseball…you and I haven’t discussed any trades - wanna make a deal?

Justin: Chad, we agreed when making this site to never talk about our deals in fantasy baseball. And you are using the term deal very loosely.

Chad: I never agreed to not talk about deals. You don’t wanna talk about them because I’ve damn near gutted you in the last three seasons. And I’m waiting for you to call me in a panic again. When am I gonna get my damn phone call!! Oh, and I have good news. With Mark Buehrle and Sean Marshall pitching, the game will go really fast - drastically reducing the amount of speaking Joe Morgan will be doing tonight.

Justin: The sad thing is I like my team. I just feel like they are underperforming right now. Perhaps I will try to deal some guys to get a good OF, but I’m going to hold pat until around the deadline. Sorry.

Chad: That phone call will come, I know. I’m just biding my time. Let’s get back to the real thing, though. Will the Yankees make the playoffs? And don’t give me a BS “I don’t know” answer. I want something definitive. Yes..or no?

Justin: No. They just don’t have the pitching, and their bats can be very sparatic. I don’t think the Rays are going to collapse all of a sudden and the Red Sox have become so good they are boring. Actually that’s how all of the Boston teams are these days. Alright buddy, your turn. The Cubs make the World Series this year, yes or no?

Chad: Before I answer that question, here’s my Joe Morgan update. Oh my God…is he watching the game??? Buehrle makes a kick save with two out and a runner on second, and he says, “if he doesn’t get a foot on that ball, it’s an RBI single up the middle.” Did he not see Orlando Cabrera playing 3 feet off the second base bag?? It would’ve been an easy groundout to end the inning!! Is Joe even in Chicago??

Will the Cubs make the World Series? Damn, you’re comin’ with it the heat here. All I asked of you is whether or not the Yanks would make the playoffs, but you’re going all World Series on me. If you put a gun to my head right now, I’m going to say no. The starting pitching just isn’t strong enough at the top to win a series. Carlos Zambrano is an ace, but one that can either be dominating, or head scratching - there is no middle ground with him. Ryan Dempster won’t keep up his torrid pace the entire season, either. I think you’ll hear the Cubs being highly involved in trade talks for C.C. Sabathia and Erik Bedard, but they just don’t have the bait to reel them in. None of the other “available” starters would be an upgrade over the rest of the rotation.

Justin: That is sure pesimistic for a Cubs fan? If you aren’t going to say it, I will. The Cubs will be in, and WIN, the World Series this year. That’s right, I said it. And if my Lakers prediction is any indication, you are in for the Jacobs Jinx! Muah ha ha!

Chad: You know what reverses that curse, though? It’s wearing the Cubs hat for a full day. Don’t forget about that. And I’m not pessimistic - I’m realistic. Oh my God, what an awful call. The umps have rung EVERYONE up this year when a check swing has been close. If Crede didn’t strike out later in that AB, it could’ve been a game-changing moment. Don’t worry Cub fans, he’s still managing - it’s just from his office in the clubhouse now.

Justin: Could’ve. Should’ve. Would’ve. Lou knew better than to go out and argue that call. Well, let’s wrap things up here so we can watch this game. What are your thoughts on this years All-Star game?

Chad: I HATE that it counts. It’s the sickest disrespect to the teams that play in World Series as you can get. Yes, I want Nate McLouth, and Christian Guzman being a part of the decision to whether or not the National League representative in the World Series gets homefield advantage or not. Do you want some schmuck from Seattle playing for home field on your team (although Ichiro will be the default representative - despite the fact of him not playing at an All-Star level this year). It’s despicable!

Justin: I couldn’t agree more. The team with the best record should have Home Field in the World Series. Of course this is the same game that allows the DH and allows multible different makes of bat to be used. I love this game, but sometimes I hate it.

Chad: Exactly. I know best record is a bit skewed as well - with more teams and weaker teams in the NL, but it’s a helluva lot better than letting the All-Star game deciding it. The DH sucks too, and the Players Association along with the owners are going to put a minimum on how thin the bat handles can be for maple (probably all) bats. And home run replay, here we come! The Cubs just hit into a double play - God I love this game. JJ and Chad - out!